An Exercise in Futility….

We are only a few days in (it feels like much longer), but a few things are different. We have not yet gone on a long 5:00 AM walk. I do not wonder if anything is going to be destroyed when I get home from work. Our bed feels bigger. Our home feels bigger. Tension related to walking both dogs at once has completely dissipated. Even so, we miss Jake terribly. We remembered that Lucky is my dog as he hunkered down in the living room on Tuesday night when I left for knitting group. Husband relocated to the bedroom midway through the evening and Lucky stayed in the chair waiting for me to come home. Jake would have followed husband around the house all evening. We remembered that Lucky is such an easy dog. He just wants love, more food than we will ever give him, a spot on the couch next to us or in our bed, and scratches on the door when he needs to go out. He does not charge to the window every time someone walks by. The food delivery people are not his mortal enemies; cars are not out to run him down. We never worry about what will set Lucky off. Over the last few evenings, it has been very easy for us go from laughing at Lucky to crying because we miss Jake and then back to laughing. All of this is an adjustment. We have to remember that we gave Jake an infinitely better home than the one he had prior to ours for the last 27 months of his life. We did the best we could with the craziness and enjoyed having him in our lives. Husband and I have agreed that it will be months and years before we really want to talk about getting a second dog. Lucky is enough right now.

Dear Jake:

I wish you were here sitting next to me on the couch. Our house is a lot quieter and lot bigger right now. You were a good dog — so loving, so smart, so cuddly, and so handsome. You were also a touch crazy. We loved you as much as we could. We’ll miss you. You will always have a place in our hearts.

Love,

Me

_____________________

Jake bit someone on Saturday. Husband and I made the choice to put Jake down. It’s the hardest choice we’ve ever made and the last few days have been horrible. We went late this morning to the Arlington Animal Welfare League and our vet met us there. We were blessed to have him in our home and lives for 27 months. He came so far from the cautious, confident dog we brought home. He learned to love and be loved. We learned how to be good parents to a damaged dog. He and Lucky got along famously. Jake taught Lucky how to be a dog and Lucky taught Jake that being loved on is a good thing. I’ll miss his wet nose on my face in the mornings and his gentle breath and whiskers on my skin. His intelligent brown eyes haunt me.

Many thanks to our families and friends who have offered their supportive words.

Uh-oh. I seemed to have let this hobby slip by the wayside. It has probably been since the Tour de Fleece that I last picked up a spindle (to do more than reorganize my growing roving stash). Liza emailed me yesterday morning about some roving she wants to destash before her move and I am giddy with anticipation. I am such a nerd.

That nerdiness reared its ugly head again when I purchased a replacement spindle for the one that Jake broke last week. (RIP poor spindle – you did not deserve to be treated that way)

I cannot wait for it to arrive.